Today, I took my first stab at translating Martial, a Roman poet who specialized in snarky epigrams, a sort of a 2nd century Daniel Tosh. His poems are short and much easier to translate than other classical authors. I thought it would be interesting to see people's take on his work so I thought I'd propose a contest. Pick an epigram, translate it into rhyming, metrical English. No knowledge of Latin is necessary. Feel free to bring the piece into a modern paradigm. Send entries to MatthewLandrum(at)sbcglobal(dot)net. The winner gets a package of Tazo tea, Livy's "History of Rome," and a two dollar bill. The winning epigram will be published on my blog.