The First Annual Tea and History Translation Contest: The Winning Piece

I'm pleased to announce that the winner of the 2011 Tea and History Translation Contest is classical enthusiast and literary blogger William Braun. Selected from many distinguished entries, Braun's piece best captures the pithy tone of Martial as well as his keen eye for social and literary fraud. Here is his translation:

    AFTER MARTIAL X.CII

    “Him? A father? How’d he do it?

    Never even fucked a—”    

           “Screw it.

    Ask Gaditanus. He should know it.

    He writes jack but still’s a poet.”